Transformation Tuesday - 3 month update

If you had asked me 3 months ago where I imagined I'd be in my fitness and nutrition journey at this point, I never would have imagined that this is where I would have ended up.  I've spent years trying to figure out the right balance of working out (too much and I'd get burned out and choose not to exercise at all, too little and nothing ever changed) and eating well (which was basically me swapping out my regular lunch for a salad from time to time).  Who knew that finding that balance could be so easy?!?

3 months ago I started the 21 Day Fix.  I knew I had a few pounds to lose, but figured a realistic goal of 15 was about as good as it was going to get.  I didn't imagine those 15 pounds would be lost in just 21 days, but I figured it would be a step in the right direction.  Just 3 weeks later, I'd lost 14 pounds and felt amazing.  Click here to see my 21 day results.

After those 3 weeks, I wanted to focus on training for my first half marathon, so while I continued on the eating plan as best I could, I chose to cut back on the 21 Day Fix workouts, added in more running and started doing some T25 workouts as well.  Sadly, a toe injury prevented me from doing much of anything for 2 weeks of my training, but I still managed to come back and complete the half marathon without any issues (results here if you're curious).  I have yet to get back to T25... I guess I'm a little nervous.  That said, aside from running a few days a week, I haven't been doing much in the exercise department.  Typically, I would assume that, over the course of the last 9 weeks, I would have surely gained back a few of those pounds and found my way back to some unhealthy habits.  This is where things take a shocking turn...

In those 9 weeks, I've continued to follow the 21 Day Fix eating plan as much as I can, but without measuring my foods and counting containers.  I've also continued drinking Shakeology daily.  I've had more than my share of 'cheat meals' along the way, but I've found that my healthier eating habits have become so routine that I can easily figure out whether I need more fruits or veggies or protein when it comes to meal time and it's been easy to steer clear of the things that I know aren't good for me, like excess salt and sugar.  My daily Shakeology shake is clearly helping me to maintain my positive results and has had additional benefits such as better sleep, more energy, reduced cravings, reduced effects of allergies and, maybe the best one of all, I haven't had a single hangover in 3 months!  And, yes, I definitely deserved a few!

So, where am I now?  Let me break it down for you...

In 3 months, I've lost a total of 27 pounds and 17.5 inches.  I'm down to a size 6/8 from a size 12.   And I feel fantastic! 

Here are some pictures of my progress... the pics on the top are from my starting point 3 months ago.  Pics on the bottom are what I look like now.  I certainly didn't mean to frown on day 1, but I think it's pretty obvious that I was little more excited to have my pictures taken 3 months later :)

Pictures on the top are day 1

Pictures on the bottom are day 90

As far as where I go from here, I'm planning on continuing with my healthier lifestyle and start experimenting with other workouts.  I'll eventually get back to T25... there's no question it's an amazing workout... but for now I plan to give Hip Hop Abs a try.  Summer seems like the best time to be working on my six pack anyway :)  With such huge results in just three months, I can't wait to see where the next three months will take me!

Thank you for taking the time to check in with My Marathon Adventure!  If you have any questions about Beachbody, their programs or Shakeology, please feel free to contact me.  As your personal Beachbody Coach, I would be glad to assist you in finding the right plan to get you to your fitness and nutrition goals.

Pittsburgh Half Marathon Recap

Well, I did it... my first half marathon is in the books.  And even though I've run a marathon before, I was a little nervous about the distance, particularly when two of my last four training weeks were spent nursing a toe injury that made wearing shoes excruciating.  Needless to say, I didn't get in the long runs I should have, but I did manage 10 miles before the injury and one 8 mile run after.  I was very unsure of my ability to run 13.1... particularly in Pittsburgh, with all those hills... but I was determined to at least give it my best effort.

During my training, I had it in my head that finishing under two hours would be a good goal for me.  I really wasn't sure what kind of time to expect, but my training runs were usually under a 9:00 pace, so it seemed doable.  When I came back after two weeks off, my times were much slower, but I opted not to change my goal, banking on the fact that I always race faster than I train.

So, here it is... the official results...

Net Time: 01:54:22

Overall Place: 2610

Pace: 8:44

Division Place: 172

Division Total: 1476

Gender Place: 961

Gender Total: 9025

 

Of course, while this was my official time, I feel the need to point out that my actual race time was 1:52:45 (almost 2 minutes faster)... I had to stop for a restroom break :)  So, even though my pace was officially 8:44, according to my watch it was 8:34 with the following splits...

 

9:24.8

8:53.4

8:56.6

8:25.8

8:18.0

8:17.6

8:19.9

8:00.1

8:07.9

8:21.9

8:34.4

9:14.6

8:12.8

1:36.9

 

I love that the first 6 miles were negative splits with the following 3 or 4 not too far off.  I was initially a little disappointed in mile 12, until I checked out my Garmin stats... check out the elevation change for mile 12... I think I'll cut myself a little slack for that one :)

 

Pittsburgh Half Marathon - Elevation Chart

 

I'm shocked to see I was able to bounce back with an 8:12 mile after that hill, but I'll give some credit to the awesome downhill at the end of the race :)

For the most part, the hills weren't nearly as bad as I anticipated... except for mile 12, of course.  That entire mile was uphill and pretty brutal, but I kept my head down and focused on the ground in front of me rather than staring up at the top of the hill.  The course included five bridges, which were more enjoyable than I thought they would be, and the crowd throughout the city was amazing.  We went through some neat neighborhoods and there were people and live music along the entire course. 
 

Race weekend was made extra special because my husband was there to enjoy it with me.  He's not really a fan of running, but earlier this year he decided to give it a try.  After lots of hard work and training, he was ready to run his first 5k, which he ran the day before the half marathon.  I seriously could not be more proud of him for his efforts.  And, while he didn't say he was excited to sign up for his next 5k, he also didn't say he would never do it again... I consider that a victory :)

 

All in all, I'm really happy with my race and look forward to coming up with a new goal for the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Cleveland this October.  Assuming I get in some good training and remain injury free, I'd like to shoot for a PR.  The trouble is figuring out what the goal should be.  With a flatter course, I'm thinking a PR shouldn't be much of a stretch, but I don't want to get crazy with an unobtainable goal.  I'll keep you posted on what I come up with :)

In the meantime, I'll enjoy my Pittsburgh bling... I'm incredibly proud to be a Runner of Steel!

 

Shakeology - What you need to know

I've had lots of questions about Shakeology and, since I'm not a dietitian, it's hard for me to answer some of them.  Rather than sending you all over the internet trying to find the answers, I figured I'd gather what I could and put it all in one place for you.

The first thing you should know is that I am not being paid to write this.  I am simply a satisfied customer and want to share the information that's out there so that you can make your own decision about whether or not this is something for you. 

Shakeology is a protein shake meant to replace one meal per day to help increase your energy, reduce your cravings, improve digestion & regularity, transform your health and lose weight.  Here's a video with some information about what's in Shakeology and why it's good for you.

From YouTube by TeamBeachbody



Obviously, like any other supplement out there, this is not evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration.  However, if you're looking for a protein shake, you'll find that none of them are evaluated by the FDA, so it's important to do your own research to find what it is you're looking for.

So, yes, the video above is pretty convincing when it comes to trying Shakeology.  The next thing most people ask is how much it costs.  This is where people tend to cringe.  The cost of a 1 month supply of Shakeology is $129.95.  But before you make up your mind, allow me a moment to put this into perspective for you...

Now, I'm not saying that everyone gets a Big Mac Meal for lunch every day, but every food you eat has a cost, including Shakeology.  It's not the cheapest shake on the market, but when it comes to your health, is this something you're really looking to cut corners on?  Consider what you eat for every meal of your typical day.  Is your breakfast a yogurt and a bagel?  A coffee and a croissant?  What about your lunch?  Are you stopping for fast food on a regular basis?  Even if you're choosing something healthy, a $4.00 meal is actually a pretty good bargain.  And this shake is most definitely a meal.  It's filling and good for you and there are a million ways to make them, so you'll never get bored with your daily shake.

If you're looking for a comparison of shakes, there are tons of them out there.  I tried to find one that included as many well-known brands as I could find...

Personally, I love that this chart includes a price comparison.  No, it's not the cheapest shake on the market, but it sure seems to make up for that in every other category.

One thing you should be clear on if you decide to buy Shakeology... this is not, nor is it meant to be, a quick-fix miracle shake that will help you lose weight overnight.  Like anything else, it's part of a process.  It's about putting good things into your body and cutting out the crap.  It's meant to be used in conjunction with exercise and eating right.  If you're looking to lose 30 pounds in a week, this isn't the way to do it.

All of that being said, there are a few ways you can reduce the cost of Shakeology if it's something you're interested in trying...

First, Beachbody (the company that sells Shakeology) offers Challenge Packs for many of their exercise programs.  The Challenge Packs vary in price, but as an example, the 21 Day Fix Challenge Pack costs $129.95 and the Challenge Pack includes your first month of Shakeology.  However, the 21 Day Fix program alone costs $59.85, which means you're only paying $70.10 for your first month of Shakeology.  This is a great way to try it out for almost half the cost. 

Second, if you do decide you like it and want to use it on a regular basis, a great way to reduce your monthly cost is to become a Beachbody coach.  That actually gets into a whole other line of questions and information, so I'll plan to post about that separately at a later date. 

In the meantime, if you have any questions about Shakeology, feel free to comment below or email me at erin@clere.us.

If you'd like to purchase Shakeology or any of the Beachbody programs, please click here.

21 Day Fix Results

I just realized I never followed up on my 21 Day Fix results!  I guess I was too busy feeling awesome...

Basically, if you want the simple answer, the 21 Day Fix is amazing!  I lost 14 pounds and 6.5 inches in 3 weeks and have never felt healthier.  I never imagined those kinds of results without some kind of unhealthy crash diet, but the combination of exercise and proper eating really worked wonders! 

Here's the breakdown of why I love this program:

Exercise: The 21 Day Fix exercise DVDs were awesome!  A 30-minute workout is totally doable in anyone's schedule and, since it can be done at home, there should be no excuse for not fitting it in.  With a different workout every day of the week, you'll never be bored with your workout.  There were some seriously challenging exercises, but every workout provides a modified version for any exercise you're not up for.  Autumn details every movement, first by showing you how it's done, then by explaining exactly what you should be feeling while you're doing it, taking away the guesswork when it comes to proper form.  The added bonus... a 10-minute ab workout that is absolutely killer - I try to do it every couple days, even now that I'm not exclusively following The Fix.

Eating Plan: This is not like any diet you've ever experienced.  Let's be honest... we all have a good idea of what's healthy and what's not.  The difference here is that this eating plan focuses on how much you should be eating of those healthy foods.  The Fix comes with containers you can use to measure your foods so that you're sure you're getting exactly what your body needs.  You calculate how many calories you need in a day, which translates to a certain number of each container (there's no guesswork here - it's all calculated for you and you're given a long list of foods that you're allowed to have for each container).  For example, when I started The Fix, I was allowed 4 green containers (veggies), 3 purple containers (fruits), 4 red containers (meats/proteins), 3 yellow containers (grains/beans/potatoes), 1 blue container (nuts/cheeses), 1 orange container (seeds/dressings) and 4 teaspoons (oils/nut butters/seed butters).  And while the containers appear small, they actually hold more food than you'd think.  So, unless otherwise noted, if it fits in the container, you're allowed to eat it.  Looking at the containers, I was concerned I'd be super hungry, but was shocked to find I wasn't.  The trick was figuring out how to space the containers throughout the day to make sure you were staying as full as you needed to be.  So, for example, to keep your belly full throughout the day, you'd want to space out your red containers over breakfast, lunch and dinner so that you had protein regularly throughout the day.  I'd have half my veggies and some of my fruit for snacks between meals and would try to save some fruit for after dinner in case my sweet tooth got the best of me.  The allowed grains were a little limiting as I'm a huge fan of bread, but I'd try to stick with 1 yellow container at lunch so that I'd still have 2 left for dinner and found that, surprisingly, I never felt deprived.

There were 2 things I found a little difficult at first about the eating plan...

First, there are just some things that need to be cut out - butter, sugar, excess salt... this means there are lots of foods that need to be avoided.  On the flip-side, however, this made for an easy transition into cleaner eating and it made me far more aware of the kinds of things I was putting into my body.  That's not to say that I've made the switch to clean eating all the time, but I do find that I steer towards the things I know are good for me and save the 'bad stuff' for when I'm out to dinner and it's harder to avoid them.  I find I'm eating more fresh vegetables and a heck of a lot more fruit than I ever had before and I'm starting to cook with leaner meats than I used to.  I haven't made the switch to all organic or all natural foods, but I'm paying far more attention to nutrition labels, focusing more on ingredients than anything else.  I haven't counted calories on anything in weeks and, even without strictly following the eating plan these last few weeks, I've found it's completely changed how I view food.  And I've continued to lose weight, shedding another 2 pounds where most people no longer following a diet would usually begin to gain the weight back.

Second, I struggled a little with the transition from filling my containers with boring, bland food to using them to figure out proper portions and making recipes.  The truth is, almost any recipe out there can be modified and made healthier.  Not all of them end up quite as delicious, but you'd be surprised by how good healthy food can taste when it's made the right way.  My first week on the plan I mostly had baked chicken, steamed veggies and raw fruit... super healthy, but not super delicious.  Over the course of the next 2 weeks, I found ways of making healthy foods a lot more tasty.  For example, I made stuffed peppers using quinoa instead of rice and ground turkey instead of ground beef and found a combination of herbs and spices (all of which are allowed on the 21 Day Fix) to make up for the more bland flavor of the turkey.  My meal accounted for 1 green container, 1 red container and part of a yellow container.  It was super healthy and delicious at the same time.  The trick is finding substitutes for the things you love (and I don't mean cauliflower for potatoes... I don't care what anyone says, those 2 things are so not the same).  Here are some of my favorite substitutes that I've found over the past few weeks:

Ground turkey for ground beef (requires extra seasonings in some dishes)
Quinoa for white rice
Greek yogurt for sour cream (it's awesome as a topping for Mexican foods)
Greek yogurt for mayonnaise (add some to shredded chicken, onion, celery, garlic and pepper and you've got a great chicken salad!)
Stevia for sugar
And my all-time favorite: ground almonds & frozen bananas for ice cream (no joke-this is amazing!)

And, now for the big reveal...

I was tempted not to include before and after photos, mostly because I wasn't really interested in having these floating around the internet.  However, if I'm going to ask others to take a leap of faith, it only seems fair that they see my progress... proof that this program works.  So here you go...

Top row: Day 1
Bottom row: Day 21

As a side note, I think it's important to point out one other thing about my journey with the 21 Day Fix...  Yes, red wine is allowed (a 4 ounce glass is okay up to 3 times per week), but beer doesn't make the cut.  However, in the last 5 weeks, I have not cut alcohol out of my diet.  I don't drink daily, but when I'm out to dinner or spending time with friends, I can easily consume a few glasses of wine or several beers.  We've had lots of activities these last 5 weeks and I have chosen not to hold back at any of them when it comes to drinks.  I've also managed several 'cheat meals' when we were out to dinner.  The fact that I was still able to achieve these results says a lot of about what good nutrition and exercise can do for your body... even if it's just most of the time :)  Imagine if I'd cut those things out completely!?!?

Overall, I think this particular program succeeds where others fail - it helps you tackle your overall health by focusing not only on regular exercise, but on good nutrition.  There's so much more to healthy eating than crash diets and deprivation.  For anyone not sure where to go when it comes to getting healthy, this would be a great place to start!

If you're interested in finding out more about the 21 Day Fix or any other Beachbody program (T25, Slim in 6, P90X, etc.), go here.  I am now officially an Independent Team Beachbody Coach and would be happy to help you on your own Beachbody journey.  You can also comment below or email me at erin@clere.us for more information.  We've got a great support system where you can find inspiration and advice.

I'm currently in the process of putting together my own Challenge Group.  If you have any interest in seeing what these programs can do for you, please contact me.  In the meantime, I'm looking forward to taking what I've learned about nutrition and using it during my next venture - today I start T25 - and I'll look forward to sharing my thoughts on that program in a few months.  Until then, here's to you and your health!

Beachbody - Decide. Commit. Succeed.

My New Fitness Plan

I'm both nervous and excited for the things I have planned for 2014.  My husband and I have made all kinds of great plans for our summer - family vacations, weekend trips and lots of concerts with friends (super exciting).  Then there are my plans for running - head coaching Girls on the Run for the first time and running a few half marathon (both exciting and scary since I haven't raced in a few years).  And, on top of that, I've decided to set some new fitness goals for myself - goals that require not only being more physically active, but also also making better decisions when it comes to my eating habits (mostly scary).

The reason healthy eating makes me so nervous is that I love food!  I've never been a dieter, mostly because I was certain I could never stick to a diet - anything that limited me in any way was out of the question.  And don't get me wrong… when I say 'diet' I don't necessarily mean losing weight.  Yes, I wouldn't mind shedding a few of these pounds I've put on since marathon training (or all 20, if I'm being perfectly honest), but what I'm most interested in is learning how to eat healthier in general.  I don't worry so much about organic eating, although I imagine that will be part of this process, but I am very well aware that the things I put in my body are not always the best things for me, so I'm hoping to learn how to take better care of myself.

Fortunately for me, right at the time I was ready to make some changes, I stumbled upon a friend's recommendation for a new fitness program.  After doing some research, it sounded like a program worth trying.  It's called the 21 Day Fix.  And before anyone gets carried away, no, I do not anticipate looking like this after 21 days (wouldn't that be nice?!?).  While it is a 21 day program, it's meant to be done in 21 day cycles, so you can finish the cycle in 21 days, then start again if you haven't reached your own personal goals.  There are several things about this program that I'm particularly excited about…

The first is that it doesn't require going to the gym.  The program comes with workout DVDs - there are 7 workouts that you do at home.  The added bonus is that these workouts are 30 minutes long.  I don't have all kinds of spare time during my day to spend working out, but 30 minutes is manageable for me.  Having 7 different workouts will keep me from getting bored with any one thing and, as the program suggests, should keep my body guessing.

The second is that the diet portion really focuses on portion control over what you can and can't eat.  Of course, as with any diet, there are certain limitations, but I've taken a look at the suggested shopping list and, surprisingly, it wasn't as limiting as I imagined it would be.  I'll have to cut out a few things, but nothing I can't live without, and I don't mind trying the things it suggests adding to my diet.

And the very best part of all - it's 21 days.  As I mentioned, I don't expect to see all of the results I'm hoping for in just 3 weeks, but it does give me a short time frame during which I should see some pretty significant results.  And, if I don't, I will have only committed to 3 weeks.  If all else fails, after 3 weeks, I can come up with a new game plan for finding what I'm looking for in a fitness plan.

Now for the downside… signing up with my personal Beachbody coach means that I need to account for my progress.  This means pictures and measurements and tracking my calories (YIKES).  The program begins mid-February, so I started tracking my diet now so that I can see where I'm starting and have a better idea of the changes once the program starts.  I'm required to use My Fitness Pal which is actually a lot easier to use than I anticipated.  If you eat anything pre-packaged, you can simply scan the barcode for the dietary information, or you can search for pretty much anything (I used it to calculate my lunch at a hibachi steakhouse yesterday - so much better than searching for each part of my meal separately).  And you can track your workouts (they've calculated the calories burned for all kinds of activities from bowling and curling to typical workouts like running and weight lifting) making it simple to see calories consumed vs. calories burned and give you a net number for what you can consume for the remainder of your day.  At this point, for anyone looking for an easy way to track their diet, My Fitness Pal is an awesome way to do it.

Fingers crossed that the 21 Day Fix is all I hope it will be.  By mid-March I should have a good idea of what it's like and will keep you posted on my results… no promise for pictures, but if I see the kind of changes I'm hoping for, you better believe I'll post them for bragging rights :)

The Year of the Half Marathon

Holy cow!  How is it possible that it's been this long since I last posted anything?!?  I imagine it has something to do with the fact that this blog is supposed to be about running... and running hasn't really been a big part of my life lately.  I see that I've managed to post about other random crap, which is fine, I suppose... but it's time to get back to what this blog is all about...

So, I've decided to make this my Year of the Half Marathon.  Even though it has been my desire for the last 2 years to run a half marathon, I have yet to really take this goal seriously.  So, rather than start running and hope to find a race that fits into my plans for the year, I've decided to register for a race I want to run, then force myself to make it happen.  Training for a specific race tends to keep me motivated and on the right track, so I figure it should be easier to stick to my goal... particularly when you spend more than $120 on race registration.  I don't know about you, but I'm not a big fan of throwing away money :)

I've spent much of this week doing research on area races, polling friends about their plans for 2014 and connecting with some new people in the running community.  Thus far, I'm finding it easy to jump back into the whole running thing and, with a few runs under my belt, I feel like I'm in the right mindset for training.

There's really only one problem at this point... having already run a marathon, I believe I have an overconfident feeling about running a mere 13.1 miles.  Don't get me wrong, my ability to complete 26.2 absolutely proves to me that I can finish a half marathon... I'm not at all concerned about the distance.  My bigger issue is that I have this crazy idea that I can run a whole bunch of them this year... as if it will be no big deal and my body can handle that kind of beating.  For some of these races I have myself convinced that they will be for training purposes only... that I won't race and I'll take the opportunity to work on pacing and getting used to the distance.  But, there's not a chance in hell that this is how it will end up playing out.  I'm far too competitive for that.  If I line up at a starting line and a gun goes off, you better believe I'll be trying to get to that finish line as fast as humanly possible and that, given the opportunity, I will pass every last person I possibly can.  This isn't training... this is racing.  And I wonder if it's smart to put my body through that kind of run while 'training' for a specific race.  I should probably do a little more research on this topic before getting carried away.

Attempting to play this one smart, I've started by registering for just one race... the Pittsburgh Half Marathon on May 4th.  A runner friend of mine suggested it and, even though the hills scare the crap out of me, I figure it'll be a fun course and an excuse to take a little weekend trip.

The second race I really want to do is the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Cleveland on October 11th.  I heard good things about this race last year and have wanted to do it ever since.  I'm not yet registered, but this is definitely on my to-do list this year.

Also on my radar are the Irish Jig & Jog 5k on March 22nd, the Towpath Half Marathon on April 6th, the Cleveland 10 Miler on April 26th, the Lake Health Half Marathon on June 15th, the North Olmsted Kiwanis 5k at the beginning of August, the Leave No Trace Half Marathon on August 30th, and the River Run Half Marathon, which I believe is September 7th.

Oh, and since I'll be coaching Girls on the Run again this spring (more on that later), I'll also be running the GOTR 5k in Akron on May 18th.

So, yeah... I can't see being able to do every race that interests me this year... I recognize this is overkill, but part of me just wants to register for every one of them :)

My mindset going into this year is to see what I'm capable of in my first half marathon, then see how much I can improve upon my time later in the year.  For marathon training, I stuck with the Hal Higdon novice training program and there's no question it prepared me for the distance and what I should expect on race day.  I know a lot of people that use all kinds of different training programs, but I'm thinking I'll stick with what works for me and use his novice program to train for the Pittsburgh Half.  My plan would be to start another 12 week training cycle for the Rock 'n' Roll Half in October, but this time I'm thinking I'll try the Hal Higdon intermediate training schedule as this training is specifically geared toward speed, which is something I haven't worked on since high school.  While the Rock 'n' Roll Half should be faster for many reasons, including 5 additional months of running under my belt and what is sure to be a flatter course, it would be fun to see how much I might improve using a more speed-focused training schedule.

Two half marathons in one year should be enough, right?  So why am I suddenly so determined to run every race I can?  And would running this many races be a bad idea?  Feel free to share your thoughts on the matter.  For now, I'll start with Pittsburgh and plan to play the rest by ear :)

Here's to 2014: The Year of the Half Marathon!  Happy Running!

What kind of parent do I want to be?

I hate that I haven't written anything in so long.  Sadly, whenever I have the time, I find I just don't have much to say.  Who wants to read about my lack of motivation?  My frustrations with a toddler?  My riveting evenings watching tv?  Or, better yet, my ridiculous addiction to Candy Crush Saga?  I'd likely put myself to sleep just writing about it.  But, as much as I love to write, I find it's a heck of a lot easier when I have something to say... something I'm interested in or passionate about.  Or maybe something that's got me thinking.  And this week's social media craziness has really got me thinking...

Between the madness of the VMAs and blogger moms dueling over proper parenting, I find myself questioning my standards.  Which side of the fence do I fall on?  What do I stand for and where do I draw the line?  Unfortunately, I still haven't sorted it out, but maybe getting my thoughts down in writing will help...

So, the VMAs... I doubt there's anyone that missed it.  Whether you watched it live or clicked on one of the million available links to the craziness that is Miley Cyrus, I'm guessing 99% of you have seen it.  If not, here's her complete performance (if that's what we're calling it).

2013 MTV Video Music Awards

Is it weird?  Yes.  Do I get it?  No.  Will this performance cause the downfall of our society?  Highly unlikely.

The truth is, Miley Cyrus is not the role model I would want for my child.  More to the point, I don't know of a single famous person that should be.  I don't understand why we expect famous people to be role models in the first place.  Sure, it would be nice if every person in the public eye had the same moral standards as those of us trying to raise our kids to respect themselves and others and to make good decisions.  But when are we going to learn that 'reality tv' is not reality and that famous people didn't become famous for the sole purpose of raising our children for us?  And who's to say that my moral standards are up to par with those of others?  I'm guessing there are plenty of parents out there that have no interest in me being their child's role model.  But I suppose I get a pass because I'm not making my bad decisions on tv?

Being a blogger myself, I enjoy reading what other people post about... running, parenting, cooking... I like it all.  When friends share links to blogs on social media sites, I have a tendency to read them because I trust the judgment of my friends and have an interest in what they're sharing.  This week two of my friends posted links and, as it turns out, one actually referenced the other.  And not necessarily in a positive light.  I read both and, surprisingly enough, agreed with both of them.  While they made opposing arguments, I found them both incredibly thought provoking.  You should check them out for yourself here...

FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

vs.

It's not a double standard when we start looking past the surface

The first is a model of great parenting.  She talks about monitoring her sons' friends on Facebook based on the kinds of things they post.  For example, girls posting selfies in their bedrooms, scantily clad and attempting to look sexy? They're unfriended immediately.  I read this post and thought "Right on, lady. Way to stay involved in your children's lives."  Now scroll a little further to the comments section.  Holy hell!  But wait... some of these people have a point.  Is there a double-standard here?  Or are we simply being overly sensitive?  How much skin is too much?  Are bathing suit shots okay?  What if they're not 'trying' to look sexy, but happen to look sexy anyway?  Oh geez... it's too much to think about.

The second is also an amazing view on parenting.  If we could really protect our children from everything wrong in this world, I'm pretty sure every parent would do it.  But, like it or not, it's out there.  Our children see it every day.  It's on tv, it's in school, and believe it or not, it's in our neighbors' homes and our own backyards.  All of the craziness in this world is practically knocking on our own front door.  Do we pull the blinds and pretend to not be home?  Or do we invite it in with the hope of teaching our children what not to do?

Scary truth, I don't know the answer.  And, I'm afraid, no else does either.  I often read blogs like these with the hope of keeping myself on the right track when it comes to parenting.  I make mental notes of the things I agree with and completely disregard the things I don't.  I attempt to keep an open mind about things I do not understand.  But all of this feels way over my head and I find myself drowning in parenting advice, suggestions and information.

Thankfully, my son is only three.  While I am very much aware that his teenage years are just around the corner, I need to spend my time focusing on the innocent boy that does not yet recognize differences in skin color and has no concept of sexual preference.  I need to cling to this age where the most intriguing videos on the internet are animated children's songs, the definition of accessorizing is choosing between Captain America's shield and Superman's cape, and the most beautiful girl in the world is still his mommy. 

I have to trust that, as time goes by, I will find a way to work through my insecurities about making the right parenting decisions.  That I will be able to figure out how much information is too much and what kinds of things I must shield my child from seeing.  That I will grow into the kind of parent I want to be (whatever that might mean) and that, when the time comes, I will know exactly how I feel about these kinds of situations. 

For now, all I can take from these bloggers is this: every parent/child/family/situation is different.  Each person's history/religion/morals are different and, therefore, lead to different parenting decisions.  None of us are exactly the same, and we will never parent in exactly the same way.  Neither is wrong... simply different.  While it's great to look to others for advice, we still must make the hard decisions ourselves.  We must decide what is right for our children and still find a way to respect the opinions of others.  Perfect parents don't exist.  The best we can hope for is to not screw them up too badly along the way :)